Review: "The Burning Land" by Victoria Strauss

Victoria Strauss' "The Arm of the Stone" and "The Garden of the Stone" were two of the finest fantasy novels to come out of the 1990s, and also two of the most overlooked.

Strauss' two tales about a segregated world where magic and technology were at odds with each other took an old idea and gave it a surprisingly original spin, announcing the arrival of a big new talent. Then she seemed to disappear for a while.

Now, almost five years after the publication of "Garden," Strauss returns with her first hardcover (if you don't count the now out-of-print children's books she wrote before "Arm"), "The Burning Land" ($24.95, Avon EOS). I'm happy to report that she hasn't lost anything during the layoff.

In theme, "The Burning Land" will remind readers of her earlier two books - two beliefs at war with each other and the people caught in the middle - but when it comes to offering insight on human nature and emotion, this book is very much superior.

"The Burning Land" tells the story of a land that has survived 75 years of war between the traditional religious leaders, the Aratists, and the atheist Caryaxists. The Aratists have just been returned to power and now seek to bring back the followers of Arata who were exiled.

A young Aratist named Gyalo is chosen to lead an expedition into the Burning Land, the inhospitable sacred resting place of the god Arata, to bring back a group of refugees who are suspected of having survived by breaking their vows to the church and using their Shaper magic to create a home in the unforgiving desert. What Gyalo finds in the city of Refuge in the center of the Burning Land will rock the Aratist faith to its very foundations - if he can make the church's leaders accept its truth and move beyond their own fears.

Like Strauss' "Arm of the Stone," this book starts slowly, with the telling of a traditional tale from her world. Strauss eschews the "rule" that says you have to start your story by putting the reader in the middle of the action, and she gets away with it because of her compelling writing style.

In addition to being an intriguing story, Strauss offers some thought-provoking nuggets about religion, blind faith and the fallibility of the humans who wield the power in most religions. In a lot of ways, it's a very timely story that parallels some current issues in our own world.

"The Burning Land" works well on two levels - as its own story and as an intriguing setup for a future tale. The book leaves many more questions than it answers and makes me look forward to the follow-up.

After reading her first two books, I was disappointed that Strauss didn't ascend to the top ranks of the fantasy field. Maybe this tale will put her there.

Review: "Fool's Fate" by Robin Hobb

Reading "Fool's Fate" by Robin Hobb ($24.95, Bantam Spectra) was a bittersweet exercise for me. Like Hobb's other tales of FitzChivalry Farseer, I found it enthralling and entertaining, but at the same time, it was like saying goodbye to an old friend.

Back in the mid-1990s, I picked up a copy of the first tale of FitzChivalry Farseer, "Assassin's Apprentice," and immediately became a fan of the author, who also writes as Megan Lindholm. That first series, "The Farseer Trilogy," was the best fantasy series of the 1990s as far as I'm concerned. Though "Fool's Fate" leaves a few questions unanswered, the close of the book has an air of finality, and Hobb has said she doesn't think there are any more stories to tell about Fitz and the Fool.

Though I have often chastised authors in my reviews for sticking with familiar characters long after their story is over, I find myself on the other side of the argument this time. I think I'd really like to read a few more tales about Fitz, if they were done as well as these first two trilogies.

Since most of the world thinks he's dead, this tale finds Fitz still masquerading as Tom Badgerlock and quietly helping prepare Prince Dutiful for the biggest challenge of his young life. To win the hand of Elliania, the Narcheska of the Out Islands, and unite the enemy kingdoms, he must first meet her challenge - to travel to the remote island of Aslevjal and bring her the head of the dragon Icefyre, which legend says is encased in the glacier that covers the island.

The White Prophet - the man that Fitz has known most of his life as the Fool and lately as Lord Golden - has foreseen his own death on the journey. In order to protect his old friend, Fitz arranges for him to be left behind, but the Fool has other plans.

As if those things weren't enough for Fitz to deal with, he's also given command of the prince's Skill magic coterie, which includes Fitz's assassin mentor Chade and a slow, but powerful, youngster named Thick. He's sworn to protect and teach the runaway son of Burrich, the man who raised Fitz. He's being courted by a leader of the Wit magic - the ability to bond with animals, which is feared and despised - who wants to teach him to better use his gift. Finally, Fitz's biggest secret is about to be revealed when his daughter, adopted by Burrich after Fitz was believed dead, is threatened because of his mission.

There are a lot of threads to weave together, but Hobb does it deftly, leading the reader on a breathtaking ride from beginning to end.

The most striking development in this book is the transformation of Fitz himself. After six books, the self-pitying, tortured soul is finally coming to grips with himself and accepting who and what he is. Though always fascinating, he becomes a much more likeable character through the course of "Fool's Fate."

As always, Hobb is masterful when it comes to intrigue, both in the court at Buckkeep, among friends and in the hidden agendas of the Outislanders. She uses it to twist the story in ways the reader doesn't expect and also paints shadows in corners where there are none to create a sense of unease and distrust throughout the book.

If, in the future, Fitz finds himself in another situation worthy of a story, I'll look forward to it. If not, Hobb has provided a fitting (if perhaps a bit happier than expected) end to his tale.

Review: "New Spring" by Robert Jordan

It's no secret that I haven't been the biggest fan of Robert Jordan's last few books. When I read "The Eye of the World" more than a decade ago, it floored me. I proclaimed Jordan the next Tolkien and tried to convince everyone I knew to read his books.

But as the seemingly never-ending Wheel of Time has spun out of control, I've become more and more frustrated with it, so I was understandably reluctant to pick up Jordan's latest, "New Spring" ($22.95, Tor). Its small size (less than 350 pages), the fact that it wasn't a new installment in the Wheel of Time and those fond memories of "Eye of the World" finally convinced me to give it a shot, and I was pleasantly surprised.

"New Spring," which is an extended version of Jordan's novella in the first "Legends" collection, takes readers back before the events of "The Eye of the World." When the book opens, Moiraine Damodred and Siuan Sanche still wear the dress of Accepted, struggling to attain the shawl of Aes Sedai. Lan Mandragoran, the heir to a dead kingdom, is a soldier protecting Tar Valon from an Aiel invasion. He wants nothing to do with Aes Sedai, much less to be bonded to one as a Warder.

The story follows Moiraine and Siuan's ascent to the shawl of Aes Sedai. When they witness a foretelling that the Dragon Reborn, the man who will sunder the world and save it, has been born on the slopes of Dragonmount, they become obsessed with being the ones who find him. But the Tower has other plans. When the Amirlyn, Tamra, dies mysteriously, Moiraine seems to be bound for the throne of Cairhien, to which she has a claim. But rather than make that claim, she flees the Tower to search for the child.

Her search leads her to the Borderlands, where she and Lan meet, and the rest of the story, readers of the Wheel of Time are already familiar with. (Well, most of it. Word is that Jordan plans two more of these prequels.)

"New Spring" is nice for fans of the Wheel of Time, in that it gives them a chance to see a foolish and fun side of Moiraine, one not often seen in the other series. It also provides some background information on several characters that are important to the series.

For those like myself, who have been turned off by the direction the series has taken, it's a chance to remember what you liked about Jordan's work in the first place.

The detail is still perhaps a bit heavy-handed - like the 3-plus page description of Tar Valon as Moiraine and Siuan ride out for the first time as Accepted. But that's always been Jordan's style. Sometimes it works to put the reader closer to the story; others it doesn't.

"New Spring" doesn't have the same sense of adventure that the early Wheel of Time books had, but that's probably because we already know where it's headed. It's a problem shared by any prequel, and one easily overlooked once you get into the story.

Has "New Spring" convinced me to give the next Wheel of Time volume a shot? Probably not. At the pace that story has moved forward in the last several books, I don't think I'll miss much if I wait for the last volume and just see how it all turns out. But I will check out the other two prequel volumes, and I'll look forward to whatever Jordan does once that unwieldy saga is ended.

Review: "Down the Crawfish Hole" by Wes Thomas

It's an old tradition in children's books. Take a familiar, beloved story and alter it to put it in surroundings and add characters that relate to the local region. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Luckily for Wes Thomas, it works in "Down the Crawfish Hole" ($15.95, Pelican Publishing Co.).

In this book for the preschool set, a young boy named Maurice happens across an interesting blue crawfish that claims to be late for a meeting with the Frog Queen. On the way, the crawfish drops his watch. Intrigued, Maurice picks up the watch and follows the crawfish into a crawfish hole, where he arrives in a strange world populated by talking armadillos and opossum, and a friendly Cajun and his alligator buddy. Oh, and of course, the frogs and their queen.

If it all sounds a little familiar, it should. "Down the Crawfish Hole" is simply a Cajun-ized (and abridged) version of Lewis Carroll's classic "Alice in Wonderland."

Since this book was written for preschoolers, it's very short and moves quite quickly. In fact, too quickly for me, from the adult perspective. It was well enough done that I wanted to see it expanded and see how other elements from Carroll's classic would have translated into a Cajun world.

The drawings in the book are lively and should engage children, and the characters are just as colorful as Carroll's, even if they don't get the same face time as the originals.

Of course, when you're dealing with a classic like "Alice in Wonderland," there's really no way you can improve on it. But for a younger set, who perhaps don't have the reading skills to tackle Carroll's story yet, it will certainly get them interested in the book it's based on.

Review: "Legends II"

The first "Legends" collection, released in 1998, was a fantasy fiction fan's dream come true. It featured new short novels from 11 of the heavyweights of the genre, set in their signature worlds. It served as both a treat for long-time fans and a good introduction for the newbies - a way to test the waters before diving into a 700-1,000 page doorstop novel.

"Legends II" ($28.95, Del Rey) brings back a couple of the alumni of the first volume, while mixing in a few new writers, as well. Robert Silverberg is back as the editor, and also contributes a story from his world of Majipoor. Other returning authors include George R.R. Martin, Orson Scott Card, Tad Williams, Anne McCaffery and Raymond Feist. New to the collection are Robin Hobb, Diana Gabaldon, Elizabeth Haydon, Neil Gaiman and Terry Brooks.

As with the first book, the stories are a mixed bag, depending on your tastes in fantasy. Among the best stories are those by Martin, Gaiman and Williams. Martin continues the tale of the hedge knight Dunk that he began in the first "Legends" collection with "The Sworn Sword." Gaiman contributes a dark and atmospheric tale set in the world of his novel "American Gods" with "The Monarch of the Glen." Williams dips into his virtual reality "Otherland" world, and also takes a time to have a little fun and play around in Middle-Earth in "The Happiest Dead Boy in the World."

Some of the authors in the book truly fit the title. While they all have their fans and detractors, no matter which side of the fence you're on, you can't deny that names like McCaffery, Feist and Brooks are indeed legends in the fantasy field. If you like their previous work, you'll probably like these stories.

A few of the stories I found disappointing. Over the past several years Hobb has become one of my favorites in the fantasy genre, but her story "Homecoming," written as a series of journal entries, didn't really work for me. Though the approach is a unique idea, it kept me from really getting into the flow of the story. Likewise, Card, who is an outstanding writer, gives us another story in the world of Alvin Maker with "The Yazoo Queen," but I much prefer his Ender series. Being science fiction, Ender doesn't really fit into this collection, but I've never been a big fan of the Maker tales.

Unlike the first book, which contained 11 authors that I'd read before, I got my first look at a couple of writers in this book - Gabaldon and Haydon. I'll definitely be checking out more from them in the future. Gabaldon's characters in "Lord John and the Succubus" are among the more interesting I've read, and while it perhaps isn't a true fantasy tale, it definitely earns its spot in this collection.

Haydon's story, "Threshold," may be the best in the book. Set in her "Symphony of Ages" world, it's certainly the most sweeping and ambitious work in this collection. It takes readers on a journey they won't believe is possible in a mere 80 pages and leaves the reader wanting to dive right into one of Haydon's novels.

In the end, that's the best part of these collections. They give people the opportunity to sample some of the genre's biggest names and best writers in bite-sized chunks that are just enough, if you like the writer, to whet your appetite for more. Long live the "Legends" series.

Review: "Agents of Light and Darkness" by Simon R. Green

John Taylor finds things. If you're looking for something in the Nightside, the dark underbelly of London where it's always 3 a.m. and everything has a price, he's your guy. But in "Agents of Light and Darkness" ($6.50, Ace), Taylor finds himself out of his depth.

In this tale, Simon R. Green's detective finds himself inundated with offers he can't refuse. The Grail has come to the Nightside, but not the one you might expect. This is the Unholy Grail, the cup that Judas Iscariot drank from at the Last Supper.

With everyone from sorcerers to Howard Hughes - who didn't really die, but rather "moved to another plane for tax purposes" - seeking Taylor's services in the matter, he settles on a seemingly friendly priest named Jude who carries a hefty purse and claims to represent the Vatican.

Though Taylor is the best at what he does, this case proves more challenging when the angels arrive in the Nightside, and it may land him in some serious trouble that even his fearsome reputation can't get him out of.

In Green's second book about John Taylor, he builds on the detective's legend nicely. Taylor, though faced with a dire immediate situation, remains focused on finding out about his mother. She's the reason Taylor has his mysterious rep and a secret that everyone in the Nightside seems to know. But everyone also seems scared to share that secret with him.

Green's Nightside has one of the most colorful casts you'll find this side of Terry Pratchett. From his sidekick Shotgun Suzie, a female Rambo who takes her fashion cues from Emma Peel, to the Bedlam Boys, a washed-up boy band with the psychic powers to terrorize innocent bystanders (hmm … imagine that), the characters are almost as entertaining as the story itself.

That story follows a fairly basic private eye novel arc, provided that your favorite private eye has to deal with vampires, wizards and the occasional angry angel, of course. Taylor is a likeable character, a must in the world of private eye novels, and it's easy to root for him.

The result is a quick, light and fun novel that will eat up a couple of hours and leave you ready for another trip to the Nightside.

Review: "The Lone Drow" by R.A. Salvatore

If my count is correct, "The Lone Drow" is R.A. Salvatore's 17th book about the dark elf Drizzt Do'Urden, and it brings the unlikely hero full circle, to where his journey began.

For the first time in a long time, Drizzt is well and truly alone. He thinks his friends have been lost in a battle with a group of orcs that someone has somehow forged into a formidable army. The only thing that's left to him is vengeance.

Gone is the friend, mentor and confidante that Drizzt has become over the years. He's been replaced by the hunter - a cold, unfeeling and methodical side of the dark elf that we've rarely seen since he stalked the Underdark in Salvatore's "Dark Elf" trilogy.

As Drizzt wreaks havoc among the orc armies, his friends Cattie-Brie and Wulfgar are very much alive. (These books are a bit like a comic in that Salvatore does seem to have a problem killing his heroes, and even when it happens, they find a way to come back.)

While Bruenor lays grievously wounded, they attempt to hold Mithral Hall against the bulk of the orc army. Unlike Drizzt, Catti-Brie and Wulfgar are confident their friend is still alive, but they have bigger problems at hand.

After losing his way somewhere in the middle of this series, Salvatore has rebounded with the last few installments. He's made an attempt to take the series back to its roots, and for the most part, it's been pretty successful. The reunion of the original group in "Sea of Swords" and the rousing adventure of "The Thousand Orcs," definitely rekindled my waning interest in Drizzt's story.

I've got mixed feelings on "The Lone Drow." While I enjoyed seeing the hunter emerge again, it lacks the story depth and emotion that was present the last time we saw him, in the "Dark Elf" trilogy. This book is pretty much a "smash 'em and bash 'em" adventure tale. Of course, there's nothing wrong with that. It's still quite enjoyable, particularly for fans of Salvatore's past work.

I still think Salvatore needs to shake up the world of his drow hero a little more to bring some excitement back into the storyline, and I do think he needs another well-developed and credible arch-enemy, a la Artemis Entreri, instead of the creep-of-the-week approach.

But "The Lone Drow" does reaffirm Salvatore's knack for breathless adventure and leaves me with high hopes for the conclusion of the storyline in "The Two Swords," due out this fall. Just a few years ago, I said Salvatore should retire Drizzt, but now I think there just may be some life left in the dark elf after all.

Review: "Monstrous Regiment" by Terry Pratchett

The current world situation seems to be permeating every part of our culture. In "Monstrous Regiment" ($24.95, HarperCollins), it's even found it's way into Terry Pratchett's Discworld.

Polly, the daughter of a tavern owner, disguises herself as a boy to join the Borogravian army and travel to the front to find her brother, who is missing in action. The Borogravians seem to be at war with everyone, largely due to their leader the Duchess (who hasn't been seen in years) and their god Nuggan, who seems to create new abominations daily. Among the things that are abominations unto Nuggan: images (except of the Duchess, of course), basically anything involving women, rocks and the color blue.

Polly, with a short haircut and a strategically-placed pair of socks, joins a ragtag group of recruits that includes a troll, a teetotaler vampire and an Igor - always an entertaining part of a Discworld story. Sergeant Jackrum takes in the pitiful lot because they're the best - and the last - available because, of course, Borogravia is winning. That's what everyone says.

As the group gets closer and closer to going to war, Polly discovers that a vampire and an Igor aren't the biggest oddities in this group. She's not alone in her disguise - not by a long shot.

"Monstrous Regiment" is not as howlingly funny as many of Pratchett's "Discworld" novels. Instead, it takes more of a satirical turn. While the book still has its laugh-out-loud moments, most of the humor here comes from Pratchett's wry take on more serious subjects. Pratchett uses the book to take a look at women's issues in our society and poke fun at fundamental extremists of all stripes. It's also a very timely novel, as some events seem to parallel those in our own world.

Hardcore Pratchett fans may be disappointed that the book doesn't focus on familiar characters, but as always, many of them put in an appearance, specifically Samuel Vimes, who comes to investigate the destruction of Ankh-Morpork's clacks towers in Borogravia after Nuggan declares them an abomination.

To me, the infusion of fresh blood in the book is refreshing. Though they're all fascinating characters, how many stories can you really tell about Vimes, Rincewind and Granny Weatherwax before they get stale?

It's a slightly different approach for Pratchett. Though his books have always had an element of satire, this is the first time he's used it as a primary element. It works well - even if it is an abomination unto Nuggan.

"Lord of the Rings" adaptations surpass expectations

No one was a bigger doubter than me when New Line Cinema announced its intention to put J.R.R. Tolkien's "The Lord of the Rings" on film. Visions of the disastrous animated adaptations of the books swirled in my head, and I imagined Ringwraiths that acted like Jason Voorhees and a Gollum with razor-blade tipped fingers. Those were, after all, my biggest reference points for New Line.

Then I began to hear about this New Zealander named Peter Jackson, who was a devoted fan of the books, and I began to see some of the early stills and notes from the movie via the Internet. Those little things piqued my curiosity, but I still wasn't convinced.

Once upon a time, I had a yearly date with Tolkien's trilogy, well, actually with all four books, because I include "The Hobbit" in the cycle. The month before the first film opened, I realized it had been several years since I visited with my old friends. I passed over the leatherbound version and the shiny, new version with illustrations by Alan Lee that hold a place of honor on my bookshelf. Instead, I dug out the old, torn, stained and dog-eared paperbacks from my youth and dived back into the world of Middle Earth.

I read the books with a passion that I hadn't experienced them with since the first time I picked up "The Hobbit" in seventh grade. I knew, after all, that this was the last time I'd see Middle Earth through my own eyes. This was the last time, I'd see my own personal vision of Tolkien's lands and characters. I knew my perception of the story in future readings would be clouded by visions of Elijah Wood and Ian McKellen (who, by the way, is about as close as you can get to my original vision of Gandalf.)

Then came the day when I sat in a darkened theater, waiting with a mixture of excitement and trepidation to see those words that were burned into my memory scroll across the screen - "One ring to rule them all, One ring to find them, One ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them."

I knew they'd trump up the romantic angle and leave some other things out - it is Hollywood after all. But I'm happy to report that the films were nowhere near the disaster that I expected. In fact, they were better than I had ever imagined they could be. Oh, I've got quibbles, of course, but no major complaints. Among the quibbles that my colleagues are tired of hearing about:

· No Tom Bombadil. OK, I know he wasn't really essential to the plot of the books, and I know that sidetrip has little bearing on the story. But I still would have liked to see the barrow wight scene.

· Arwen's calling of the river at Rivendell. I thought the change in the story undermined Frodo's character a bit, and we all know it was Gandalf who crashed the river down on the Nazgul. Arwen was hardly in the book, but of course, Hollywood needs the romance.

· No final come-uppance for Saruman. This one probably bothers me more than any other. I wanted to see the scene where Gandalf confronts Saruman after the fall of Isengard. I also think viewers need to know Saruman's fate. Unfortunately, we'll have to wait for the DVD for the Gandalf scene. As for the other, apparently Jackson didn't shoot it at all.

But for every quibble I can find, there are 10 things that Jackson and Co. got right. Among them:

· The hobbits themselves. Realistically, I know it's done with camera angles and digital tricks, but when I see the actors who played hobbits in another setting and see they're human-sized, I do a double-take.

· The casting. I haven't seen a single bad casting decision. No one in the world could have played Gandalf and Saruman but Ian McKellen and Christopher Lee, and Jackson nailed the other characters just as well.

· The battle with the Balrog at Khazad-dum. Could it have been done more perfectly? I don't think so. Of all the scenes in the movie, this one was probably the most true to the vision I had in my head.

· Gollum. Without a doubt, the most incredible CG character of all time. The viewer has no trouble at all believing that he's 100 percent real.

In the end, the movies have been much truer to the books than I expected. I do feel a twinge of sadness that Middle Earth no longer belongs to me alone. Even though millions of people have read the books, before the movies, they were a much more personal experience. Now everyone shares the same vision - but at least it's a good one.

Now if we can just convince Peter Jackson to take on "The Hobbit." I know it's going to be done now, and I really don't want to see anyone else at the helm.

Review: "Blade Dancer" by S.L. Viehl

S.L. Viehl has already made a name for herself in the science fiction world with her "Stardoc" books, but now she introduces a new character to that universe with "Blade Dancer" ($22.95, Roc).

Jory Rask is a pariah on the xenophobic world of Terra. She's a half-breed, the product of a brutal rape of her Jorenian mother by a Terran mercenary. Blessed (or cursed) with a Terran appearance, she's been able to hide her heritage through the use of a pair of gloves (to conceal her sixth finger) and goggles (to hide her pupil-less eyes.) She's done fairly well for herself, becoming one of the top runbacks in the professional shockball league (basically the science fiction equivalent of Deuce McAllister.) But when her mother dies, that all ends.

Jory is caught burying her mother in the desert, and her heritage comes out. The formerly honored player is mistreated, shunned and deported.

She catches a flight to her mother's homeworld in hopes that they'll take her in, but along the way, she runs into a blade dancer, one of a group of elite galactic assassins. He takes an interest in her, challenging her to a fight and inviting her to the planet Reytalon for training.

Jory refuses, but once she gets to her mother's homeworld, she doesn't get quite the reception she expected. Furthermore, she discovers it's not really a place she wants to live. So, keeping a promise to her mother, she seeks out the handful of others on the planet like her. When she locates them they find a common bond and a common goal, revenge against Kieran, the Terran mercenary responsible for their outcast existence.

On the surface, "Blade Dancer" is a typical revenge tale, but Viehl handles it with a flair that makes it far more engaging than the average action movie fodder.

For one thing, Jory is a very believable character. Though she sports the stoic façade of the average action hero, there are aspects of her character that reveal her as a real person with real feelings and fallibilities. The reader is able to feel for her and sympathize with her even as she's training to be a cold-blooded killer. Though some aspects of that training may repulse readers, they still feel that connection with the character. That's a balance that's sometimes hard to achieve.

Perhaps the most refreshing thing about "Blade Dancer" is its honesty. While a lot of science fiction writers try to dress an adventure tale up in heavy-handed philosophical trappings, Viehl's writing style is as unpretentious as this tale of revenge.

She never pretends the novel is anything but what it is - a breathless action tale that will keep readers turning pages.

Review: "Dead on My Feet" by Wm. Mark Simmons

Having grown up in this area, I never suspected there'd be a vampire presence here, but now the place seems to be overrun with them.

Charlaine Harris planted them here in her Southern Vampire series, and now local author Wm. Mark Simmons brings his half-vamp character Chris Cséjthe to town in "Dead on My Feet" ($24, Baen Books).

Simmons began the story of Cséjthe (pronounced Chaytay) in 1996's "One Foot in the Grave." Even in a world of vampires and werewolves, Cséjthe is an oddity. He's neither living nor dead, a half-vampire. Simmons' variety of vampirism is a virus with two parts. Cséjthe got one, but not the other, which makes him of great scientific interest to all of the vampire clans (which seem more like Mafia families).

Cséjthe just wants to be left alone with his werewolf girlfriend Lupé (and don't forget the ghost of his dead wife), so he packs up and moves to a most unlikely place. You guessed it - right here in Monroe. He's provided a new identity - Sam Haim - and opens a detective agency.

When he's hired to check out a local psychic, he expects a quick debunking. Instead, he gets a dire warning. The story that follows is a wild ride that includes a killer virus, a global conspiracy and an army of long-dead Civil War soldiers. Oh, and did I mention that the vampire clans finally catch up to him?

Simmons says his books are not your typical vampire novels, and he's not kidding. There are no overwrought, Goth-poet, tortured souls here (OK, maybe a couple, but they're bearable). Instead his characters are more like real folks with real problems on top of their supernatural woes.

Simmons has never met a pun he didn't like - a trait that he's quick to cop to - but in these novels, as well as in his "Dreamland Chronicles," they usually seem to work. You'll hit a groaner every now and then, but for the most part, the puns enhance the humor.

Part of the fun of reading Simmons' books is picking up on all the references. Sprinkled throughout are allusions to movies, music and all things pop culture. You'll get some and miss some, but there should be a few for everyone.

"Dead on My Feet" and "One Foot in the Grave" are a good mix, blending plenty of light and funny scenes with some dark and downright menacing moments. It also helps that the first book features one of my favorite lines from a vampire novel. Cséjthe is practically forced to attend a support group in the vampire enclave to help him deal with the changes (yes, they have support groups). When he's asked to speak, he stands up and says, "I suck, therefore I am."

Unfortunately, "One Foot in the Grave" is out of stock in most places right now, but Simmons hopes it will be back on shelves soon. Until then, you can still enjoy "Dead on My Feet" as a stand-alone and catch up on the backstory later. It's a lot of fun, and you might find a few things you recognize.

Interview: Mark Simmons

Mark Simmons leads a secret life. He has quite a few skeletons (mostly of Civil War soldiers) in his closet. He hangs around with werewolves and voodoo types. He has bloodthirsty friends. Surprisingly, he wants everyone to know about it.

Simmons, who has been general manager and program director at public radio station KEDM for about 10 years, can not only be found on the airwaves, but on bookshelves as well. His latest novel, "Dead On My Feet," was released by Baen Books earlier this year and brings his half-vampire character Chris Cséjthe home to Monroe.

Simmons, tired of seeing every story set in New York or Los Angeles, wanted to offer a different view, but he admits, initially, to having second thoughts about bringing vampire clans and ghouls of all sorts to town.

"Whenever you set something in familiar territory, it helps ground the story," he said. "But there's also the external aspect of people wanting to think that you mean something or you're saying something about the real place. Whenever an author writes something, there are always friends and acquaintances who try to figure out if they're in the book."

Simmons assures local folks that none of them appear in the book, though the name of one prominent local restaurateur is mentioned. He admits to including some friends, but no one from our neck of the woods.

Then there are some of the events of the book, which include a white supremacist group - from up north, no less - in a battle against long-dead Civil War soldiers (Union and Confederate alike) who are protecting their country, and a corporation with a killer virus bent on world domination. Those were other reasons he chose not to use real places and faces.

"Sometimes people will misunderstand things you're trying to do, especially humor," Simmons said. "I was thinking, if somebody skims this, they're going to think, `well, here comes another Yankee, writing another story to make fun of us.' If I made fun of anything, I did make fun of the fact that our life here is kind of quiet."

That quiet life is part of what initially drew Simmons to Monroe. He worked at radio stations in southeastern Kansas and the Kansas City area in Missouri before turning to public radio. He had a choice between accepting a position as operations manager and program director at KEDM or one in Bridgeport, Conn.

"It was a tough decision," he said. "But it was so beautiful down here, and what impressed me was the strength of the arts."

A year after joining KEDM, Simmons also took on the duties of general manager, and he's now an adjunct instructor in mass communications at the University of Louisiana at Monroe. All of which leaves little time for writing, but he still manages to churn out books, if at a bit slower pace.

Simmons thinks one of the things that attracts readers to his books is the strange blend of genres. His "Dreamland Chronicles" trilogy layers a fantasy tale on a hard science fiction framework, while the Cséjthe books blend fantasy and horror with a touch of science fiction thrown in. But all of the books have a common element - humor.

"For balancing humor and horror, I admire Hitchcock for what he was able to do," Simmons said. "He can make you believe in some scary situations, but still make you laugh."

Simmons said he likes to think that his books achieve that same kind of balance. He wants them to be funny, but he also wants readers to take the story seriously. His publisher for the Cséjthe books thinks he's achieved that goal. Toni Weisskopf, executive editor of Baen Books, said several people had recommended Simmons' work to them before they read "One Foot in the Grave."

"Once we read it, we enjoyed Mark's storytelling and his wry, allusive sense of humor," Weisskopf said. "Mark's hero has to walk the fine line between what's wrong and right, and it's rare these days to have an author who knows where the line is drawn, let alone can deal with moral decisions with such a light touch. Simmons manages it with flair."

While the books are funny, Simmons doesn't want people to get the idea that they are for kids. They draw on legends and history, which are often bloody. He said he'd classify them PG-13 with the movie ratings system.

"There are worse things you'll see on TV on most given nights, but it's not `Bunnicula' or `The Monster Patrol,'" he said. "There is violence and there are bad things that happen to some of the people in these books. The most horrific stuff is actual history."

Simmons, though he says he's not a fan of vampire stories himself, said he does try to stick with the conventions of the genre. He began writing the stories as a way to have a little fun with "the genre that will not stay dead," but he also has respect for the conventions. So sunlight, holy symbols, garlic, all of the usual suspects play a big role in his books.

"If it's convention, it's like being on the road and staying between the lines," he said. "But it's seeing how far you can go and still stay between the lines."

That, he says, earns him some fans from the community of vampire followers. Much like his poking fun at fantasy and science fiction have earned him fans among those genres.

"I'm true to the rules, and yet, we all have a little bit of a `Mystery Science Theater 3000' attitude after a while," he said. "How many times can we go back to the coffin and tell the same story over again without it just being old?"

Review: "Death Masks" by Jim Butcher

Settling down with the latest installment of Jim Butcher's "Dresden Files" is becoming a pre-Halloween tradition for me.

The tales of a wizard private eye are the perfect books for the haunted season. They've got plenty of creeps and nasties, but they're more fun than frightening. His latest, "Death Masks" ($6.99, Roc) continues the trend.

This time, Harry Dresden's in a world of trouble (as usual). The war between the Red Court of vampires and the White Council of wizards - a war that Harry was at least partially responsible for starting - continues. Harry is given a chance to end the war by fighting a duel with a representative of the Red Court, a cunning vampire named Ortega.

As he prepares for the duel, he gets a visit from a representative of the Vatican. The Shroud of Turin has been stolen and is suspected to be in Chicago. The priest has contacted the police, but doesn't trust them and has been pointed toward Harry. The problem is, a lot of other people are looking for the Shroud, including Harry's friend Michael Carpenter and two other Knights of the Cross, the local crime lord and some really nasty demons.

Could anything else go wrong? You bet it could. In the middle of all of this Harry's old girlfriend, now half-vampire, saunters back into his life.

As you can probably tell, this tale of Harry Dresden is far from boring, but it's not nearly as chaotic as it sounds either. Despite everything that's going on, Butcher still makes the story flow and manages to tie it all together.

But most importantly, the stories are a blast. Butcher doesn't mind poking fun at his own genre, even at a master of it. Consider a scene where Dresden is caught somewhere he shouldn't be - an art auction run by the local mob boss where Harry suspects the Shroud will be sold. The mob boss confronts him by saying he didn't realize Harry was an art collector. The rest of the conversation goes like this:

"`I am the foremost collector of velvet Elvii in the city of Chicago,' I said at once.

"`Elvii?' Marcone inquired.

"`The plural could be Elvises, I guess,' I said. `But if I say that too often, I start muttering to myself and calling things `my precious,' so I usually go with the Latin plural.'"

If that passage gives you a chuckle - or a good belly laugh if you're a Tolkien fan - there are plenty more where it came from.

With most ongoing series like this, I find my interest waning after four or five books, but five books in, I still love the "Dresden Files." They're fast, they're fun, and I'm looking forward to the next one.

Review: "One Knight Only" by Peter David

The return of King Arthur takes a dark turn in Peter David's latest novel "One Knight Only" ($23.95, Ace).

In his last Arthurian novel "Knight Life," David introduced us to Arthur Penn, the man once known as King Arthur, returned to our world in a time of need. In that book, Arthur was a plainspoken man who was steered into politics by his adviser Merlin and became mayor of New York.

Now, Arthur Penn is the president of the United States. But today's world isn't Camelot, and his presidency is a far cry from a happy one. Merlin has been taken from him, and his most loyal knight Percival has been given a position that requires him to be away from Arthur. (He is, after all, a questing knight at heart.)

A terrorist named Arnim Sandoval strikes from hiding in the country of Trans-Sabal. Two previous presidents have failed to capture or kill Sandoval, but Arthur vows to continue the fight despite the urgings of his advisers. But when Sandoval strikes close to home with an assassination attempt that puts his beloved Queen Gwen in danger, things change. Now, it gets personal.

I'm not really sure what to think of David's latest novel. "Knight Life" was a light-hearted book that poked fun at today's politics. "One Knight Only" has a much darker and more somber tone. While there are still a few laughs in the book, much of the humor is drained by the ominous events that may strike too close to home for some people.

"One Knight Only" is the second fantasy/science fiction novel I've read recently that used the events of Sept. 11 (or a thinly veiled version of them) as a central focus, and I'm not really sure how I feel about that. On one hand, fantasy has always been a bit of an escape to another world; on the other, both of the books were good ones.

Much as in "Knight Life," David uses his fictional tale as a vehicle to discuss current issues without beating his readers over the head with them. He offers some interesting takes on the current political situation, but manages to walk the line and never cross over into telling his readers what they should think.

The character of Arthur is engaging, though admittedly some of the other characters are a little more like window dressing. The book also has the usual cast of historic and mythological walk-ons, including an appearance by Gilgamesh. (Yes, that Gilgamesh.) Those add great fun to the story.

Despite the turn in tone between this book and the last, it's still a good read. In these two books, David has offered up one of the most intriguing and interesting takes on the Arthurian legends yet.

Review: "The Pixel Eye" by Paul Levinson

The World Trade Center attacks make their way into science fiction with Paul Levinson's "The Pixel Eye" ($24.95, Tor).

The book is part of a series featuring Levinson's near-future NYPD forensic scientist Phil D'Amato. He serves in a world that is running scared from terrorism, and almost anything is suspicious. (Sound familiar, yet?)

D'Amato is called upon to investigate the disappearance and reappearance of squirrels around the city. He thinks it's a joke, until he uncovers secret research using hard-wired rats as spies. That puts questions in D'Amato's mind. Could the missing squirrels be part of a terrorist plot?

That question sends D'Amato spinning in a web of intrigue as he gets tangled up in a top secret Homeland Security project which may or may not give him his answer.

While science fiction usually deals with far-flung worlds, times and ideas, Levinson decides to take the genre in another direction. Though I haven't read the previous volumes in the Phil D'Amato series, "The Pixel Eye" is a very timely tale that reflects a lot of the things going on in today's world and a lot of the same issues that Americans are grappling with every single day.

As D'Amato is pulled further into the plots of the government, he's forced to confront the issue of freedom vs. security. It's one that's on a lot of people's minds these days.

The problem for Levinson may be that the subject matter outweighs the story. While in most detective-style mystery novels, the main attraction is the lead character, I don't really remember much about D'Amato. I do remember the thoughts the storyline sparked in my mind. That alone, makes it a book worth reading.

"The Pixel Eye," much like Orwell's "1984" and Bradbury's "Fahrenheit 451," presents a chilling vision of the future that hits way too close to home for comfort. Levinson's book is not quite as heavy as those two venerable volumes, but it touches on some of the same themes. It's not a book for escape from the problems of today's world, but rather one that will make you face them.

Though there are those readers who dismiss science fiction as escapist and less important than other literary works, books like "The Pixel Eye" defy that perception of the genre. Levinson's latest is a thought-provoking book that should be on anyone's reading list.

Review: "Fluke" by Christopher Moore

I came late to the humor of Christopher Moore. I'd never heard of him when I picked up his last book "Lamb," and all I can say is better late than never.

"Lamb" was easily the funniest book I've read in years. It left me lying on the floor with tears of laughter in my eyes. So I was eager for Moore's latest, "Fluke: Or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sing" ($23.95, William Morrow).

Nathan Quinn is a biologist working out of Hawaii who is completely obsessed with discovering the reason that humpback whales sing. He's been in pursuit of that holy grail of science for years, but this season, things are about to change.

First, his crew gets two new members - a flirtatious assistant named Amy who isn't really what she seems and a wanna-be Rastafarian surfer-dude named Kona who is actually a middle-class white kid from New Jersey. Along with the salty photographer Clay, they make an odd science team, but then, this is odd science.

Nate's obsession deepens when he spots a whale with strange fluke markings. Though he's reluctant to tell anyone, he could swear the whale's tail had writing on it - the words "Bite Me." His search, and Kona's unwitting aid, bring him closer than ever to discovering the true message in the whale song, but there are forces in the sea that don't want him to find it. He's about to meet them face to face.

"Fluke" is not as laugh-out-loud funny as "Lamb," but it's a whole lot weirder. The story requires some serious suspension of disbelief, but if you can do that, it's great fun.

As with "Lamb," Moore's characters in "Fluke" are colorful and interesting. You want to continue reading the book just to get to know them a little better and figure out what makes them tick.

In addition to the light-hearted nature of the story, there's also some good information about whales and whale research. Moore doesn't beat readers over the head with it in the story, but dedicates serious space at the end of the book to the real issues.

Though not quite as strong as "Lamb," "Fluke" still provided me with plenty of chuckles and a few good belly laughs. I've been converted. I'll be reading Moore from now on.

Review: "The Wolves in the Walls" by Neil Gaiman and Dave McKean

When the wolves come out of the walls, it's all over.

No one's really sure why it's all over, or even what it is. But they all say it, so it has to be true, right?

The wolves do indeed come out in "The Wolves in the Walls" ($16.99, HarperCollins) the latest children's book from master fantasist Neil Gaiman.

When Lucy begins to hear scratchings and rustlings in the walls of her home, she knows the wolves have come. The problem is that no on in her family believes her. When she brings it up, they all think she has an overactive imagination, and they all tell her the same thing - "When the wolves come out of the walls, it's all over."

The book gets even more weird when the wolves do decide to come out. They take over the house, running Lucy and her family out. Lucy's parents and her brothers begin to consider all of the places they can move to get well away from the wolves, but Lucy doesn't want to live anywhere but her house. When she decides to go back in and confront the wolves, everyone gets a surprise.

I've been a fan of Gaiman since reading his "Sandman" comics in high school (and no, it's not about the guy from Spider-Man that can turn himself into sand.) He's one of the most inventive writers out there. "Good Omens," his collaboration with Terry Pratchett further reinforced that opinion, and his novels "Neverwhere," "Stardust" and "American Gods" are some of the best out there.

"The Wolves in the Walls" has the same kind of twisted humor you'll find in his other books, but the story remains light enough for young readers.

Artist Dave McKean worked on the "Sandman" books and also illustrated Gaiman's other children's books, "The Day I Swapped My Dad for Two Goldfish" and "Coraline." His illustrations are the perfect match for this story - creepy, but whimsical at the same time.

While it's a picture book, it might be a bit too intense for very young children. There's no violence or anything really questionable that parents should be concerned about, but some of the wolf drawings might bring a bad dream or two to the truly young. Think of it as a more intense version of "Where the Wild Things Are."

In the end, though, as creepy as the story is and as scary as the wolves may be, little Lucy finds a way to triumph by using her wits. Despite his affection for the darker stories, Gaiman manages to show children that their nightmares aren't as bad as they think, and all you have to do is stand up to them. And he does it in a way that can provide an interesting diversion even for his adult fans.

Review: "Something from the Nightside" by Simon R. Green

The opening of Simon Green's "Something From the Nightside" ($6.50, Ace) may seem very familiar to you.

It begins in a low-rent private eye's office. You can almost visualize the black and white screen, smoke rising from an ashtray as the stereotypical private eye voice gives you the rundown on his life in monotone. Then, the shadow of a shapely female form falls of the frosted glass window. Joanna Barrett enters. She's a rich, prim and proper looker whose daughter has run away from home. She's exhausted all other avenues, and the private eye, John Taylor, is her last hope.

That's where the familiarity ends, though. You see, Joanna's daughter is lost in a place called the Nightside, an area of London that can only be reached by magical means. It's home to any number of strange and unspeakable creatures, and many of the hidden monsters of our own world go there to act on their most base desires. Despite that, Taylor feels quite at home there. He was born there.

The rest of the book resembles a very twisted Harry Potter. Taylor was orphaned as an infant and raised by a string of caretakers who didn't really want anything to do with him. In our world, he's a nobody - a cheap private eye in the low-rent district. In the Nightside, he's something of a legend, but even he's not really sure why.

Despite the striking similarities, this isn't a kiddie tale. It's dark, macabre and often violent, but at the same time has a very tongue-in-cheek sense of humor. It's both an homage to and a send-up of the classic hard-boiled detective tales.

The supernatural detective story has grown into one of the most popular subgenres in fantasy, and despite my initial resistance, it's also grown into one of my favorites. Writers like Laurell K. Hamilton, Jim Butcher and Wm. Mark Simmons have all endeared me to the genre.

Like the hard-boiled subgenre of mystery, the stories are very similar to each other, but unlike mystery, fantasy writers have a lot more to work with and a lot more leeway from readers to do things in a different way. That creates a situation where writers can put a wicked twist on the story.

Green does just that in "Something From the Nightside." His Nightside brings to mind the London underworld of Neil Gaiman's excellent "Neverwhere." But where the characters that populated Gaiman's world were a bit like twisted fairy tale figures, Green's are closer to silver screen action heroes and horror monsters. The approach is perhaps not as refined as Gaiman's, but just as much fun.

The mark of any good detective novel is whether or not readers buy into the private eye and want to read more stories about the character. That being the case, Green succeeds here. I'd love to visit the Nightside again.

Review: "White Wolf" by David Gemmell

One thing I've always loved about David Gemmell is that he doesn't rest his career on the strength of one character.

While some fantasy writers create a hero that fans love and ride him into the ground, Gemmell rarely spends much time with each character, instead preferring to look at the big picture of his worlds.

He was even able to tell the tale of one of his most fascinating characters - the Jerusalem Man, Jon Shannow - in three books.

That said, there's one character that Gemmell can't resist returning to, a fan favorite - the axman, Druss the Legend. He goes to the well once again in "White Wolf" ($24.95, Del Rey), and there's still plenty of water to be found.

True to form, though, the novel is less about Druss, and more about the people around him. The Legend doesn't even appear until the book is almost a quarter of the way over. Instead, we're introduced to Skilgannon the Damned, a famed and vicious Naashanite warrior who, regretting some of the horrific acts he was commanded to perform, has fled his homeland and sought refuge in a monastery.

Then, there's Rabalyn, a young boy from the village near the monastery, who is known as a bit of a ne'er-do-well, but has taken a liking for a teacher from the monastery.

Things go badly for both of them when hard times begin to impact the town and sentiment turns against the priests.

When one of the brothers is attacked, Rabalyn defends him from the town bully, who also happens to be the son of the town's mayor. Angered that he has been thwarted by Rabalyn, the bully sets fire to the boy's home, killing his grandmother. In his rage Rabalyn exacts his revenge in front of the entire town, including the boy's father.

Seizing the opportunity to resolve a debt the city owes the church, the mayor claims the boy is being sheltered there and leads a mob of townspeople to get him. When they attack, Skilgannon's true nature comes out, and while he saves the priests from destruction, he finds himself cast out.

As Skilgannon and Rabalyn set out to find their futures, a chance meeting with Druss changes the course of their lives - and possibly the future of the lands of Drenai as well.

Give Gemmell a tortured and haunted hero, and he's in his element. All of his most fascinating creations - Shannow, Druss and now Skilgannon - share that characteristic, and he handles the brooding, troubled type well.

At the same time, Gemmell's heroes are much more accessible than most. They're a down-to-earth sort.

I can easily imagine sitting around having a beer and trading stories with Druss (I imagine him as a larger, quite congenial version of Sean Connery.) In fact, the picture of Druss is so strong, you can almost hear his voice as you read the words on the page.

Gemmell is one of the best fantasy writers going these days, and I'm glad to see that his work is catching on with the American audience. Here's to many more great tales to come.

Review: "Sound of the Beast" by Ian Christe

"Sound of the Beast: The Complete Headbanging History of Heavy Metal" by Ian Christe ($24.95, HarperCollins) chronicles the rise of heavy metal from Black Sabbath through the nu metal movement of today.

While the book may draw the criticism of some who would argue that Led Zeppelin and Jimi Hendrix were the originators of metal, once it gets past that, there are few who will argue with the rest.

Plenty has been written about Zeppelin and Hendrix, and I'd venture to say there are few metal fans that aren't familiar with those artists and the profound effect they had on the music that would become heavy metal.

But being firmly entrenched in the Black Sabbath camp, I can find very few faults with Christe's account of the music I love.

The book begins with the Sabbath story and traces the music through the New Wave of British Heavy Metal in the late 1970s and early 1980s.

From there, Christe picks up the story of Metallica. At first, I was a little disappointed in his treatment beyond that. He spends a great deal of time on the rise of the Bay Area Thrashers - even more than on Sabbath.

On second thought, though, I had to admit that few bands have had a greater impact on the music than Metallica.

Christe offers nods to all of the other influential bands, though he doesn't spend as much time with them.

He also drags out some obscure bands that made a contribution - even a couple that I wasn't familiar with.

If the book has one fault, it is that Christe is a fan - and obviously so. If you're looking for an objective portrait of the music, look elsewhere.

He wears his likes and dislikes on his sleeve, and it's easy to tell who his favorite bands are.

At the same time, it's Christe's passion for heavy metal that really makes the book sing - or, in this case I suppose, scream.

I'd much rather read a stirring account like this from a fan that I occasionally disagree with than a rote recitation of the lineage of metal from some music historian who could care less.

Christe also incorporates lists of essential recordings at various points in the book. I disagree with a lot of them, particularly the overall list, but that's part of the beauty of those kinds of lists.

They get fans talking, opening up a dialogue that may lead people to something they've never heard before.

As a fan, it seems foolhardy to me to attempt to sum up the entire heavy metal experience in less than 400 pages. It just can't be done. But with "Sound of the Beast," Christe has done it as well as I think is really possible.